It’s been years that I’m not into writing for I have no inspiration at all. HAHA. Life gets boring, messy and my full attention was on my work, on my singing career and for the other things (stuffs) that makes my life so complicated before. Yeah, I lost on track, seems to be like that.
Words – never left unsaid. It takes so much courage and strength to take some pockets of space and time to wait for the opportunity, for us to say those words that we should never left unspoken.
Remember the time that you were alone with someone you cared for? You felt so uncomfy, your heart pumps so fast that you can’t even control it. That magical moment that you want to say those words that you longed to tell. But you just too shy and tend to hold back. But you are afraid that one day you’ll be regretting that you did not speak those words out? And that moment will be gone forever?
I’ve been through such feeling when i was still at my younger years. ♥ Craziness, immaturity has filled me so much but I myself can never explain why. Maybe that’s part of the (growth, emotional disturbance ) change that almost anyone can ever experience. AHHAA! Never like to mention a name though. Its way long ago already.
(photo belongs to the rightful owner)
Okay, there was this someone whom I cared for a quite sometime. Yeah, we’ve been so close since then when one of our closest friends did past away (of accident). It was never caught in my anima (way back then) that I was going to gain such strange feelings towards him on that period of time. I felt so uncomfortable and I felt so bad about it. And covering your feelings is kinda tough to handle. Without minding it, you find yourself blushing when you catch him on sight.
Days and months goes by, that self mournings, affection and insanity i’ve been through boost me a little courage to tell about that soon. Then one day he told me that he finally met that girl to be his girlfriend, (itchybreakyheart? naaah! its abnormal). In addition, he said that we can’t hangout most of time because he will be with his gf most of the time after school. uhmmmm, I must be understanding enough, you know. Friends are friends, and it must be like that.
Four months to wait till I graduate in my high school years, so it means we will be apart after that then. My feelings is getting deeper and deeper and I am not comfortable being with him nor to see him in school. I can’t take it anymore. I just want to hide somewhere and never bother myself from such feeling that troubled me all the time. But common friends and school activities was always the reason on our meet ups. Tsk tsk.
(It’s a long story to tell, lets make it short. HAHA) Until that time when I find that courage and strength to say those words without minding what would be the aftermath on that confession. Then after school and those lots and lots of activities and props to finish, i told him that we should meet somewhere because i really have something to tell. Its now or never! Yay! we really did meet on that place! (Let’s not make it descriptive for what are those lines i’ve been said.) I find myself crying and crying because of that confession. My body was shaking, my heart beats so fast. I never mind what would I do that after that. Unexpectedly, he just smile at me and give such a big and tight hug. (….and many things happened after that…..).
Hahah! don’t misinterpret what am trying to say. You know it takes so much courage for a girl to confess to a boy. Since its uncommon because guys don’t really have expectations on how a girl should reveal her feelings. But that’s the only thing I know that would make myself more better and comfy towards the day after next. HAHAH. That simple.
Yeah, we’ve been good (best) friends till now. And we just laugh thinking about it. LOLS!
Never give up on something you really want. It’s difficult to wait, but worse to regret.